Routine or not to routine

Well you have survived the first few months and you may have settled into a simple routine, or be taking each day as it comes or perhaps a combination of both.
Over the years I have come to realize that too rigid a routine restricts both you and your child, too flexible can leave you disorganized and stressed. So is there a happy medium, I think there is, it depends on your level of what stresses you out.
I am a fairly relaxed person, I like a clean house, to know what my children are doing and when, however I am ready to go out if needed or just kick back and relax. I didn’t need to clean windows, dust pictures, or iron vast piles of clothing, keep a daily organizer with every minute recorded to feel content. My kitchen and bathrooms were clean and tidy, the laundry was done carpets vacuumed, floors swept, and food prepared, I got to meetings, school, doctors on time. Worked outside of home, volunteered for my church, and still raised 7 children. Sometimes the living room looked like a clothes bomb had exploded, with clean piles of clothes on all seats and just worn kids pajamas and bits of uniform on the floor. There were often toys scattered around, and most days one or more of my school going children could not find two matching shoes ( tell me where do they go!). There were often dishes to be done, my least favorite job in all the world, and the table was a usually covered in papers, books and the occasional plate / cup, and we ate take away when I was just too busy or tired to be bothered to cook. However, all my children have survived so far, they all know how to clean their own rooms, clean the bathroom / kitchen,wash their own clothes, cook, iron, vacuum, look after pets, change nappies, etc, etc. They went to school, some have gone to university ( some are still at home) and managed to get married and have kids of their own.Why am telling you this, because you don’t need a strict routine to be able to do the basics for your child, family or your home.
Establish a good bedtime routine, bath, book, music, etc, but make it portable. You do not need to be at home to get your child ready for bed, just do the things you would do if you were at home. Try to make all the items you need for bedtime easily carried with you, so that if you are out late at family or friends you can still go through the bedtime routine before placing baby in the car seat for the journey home or travel cot if you are staying over.
Nap time should also be portable, you don’t need to put baby in a their cot for their nap, if they fall asleep on the couch, leave them, or even in the push chair. When at home use the cot for nap time as needed but don’t be too strict, you want them to enjoy going to bed, not associate bed with tears and tantrums. Make sure your child has their favorite items when you travel, this will help them to settle when away from home. If your routine is always to be home for bath time, naps, and feeding you will find that your child does not enjoy excursions and will fret and cry when you travel. Of course there is always an exception to the rule, but I have not met one yet.
Routine around feeding can also be portable, if you always use the same bowl, spoon etc, just make sure they come with you. If you always feed at a certain time then be prepared to feed at that time when out or traveling. Try not to do the same thing at the same time every day, this ties you down and when your child is ready to go to nursery or kindergarten they will find it difficult to adjust.
There some things which cannot be flexible, school times, returning from work, appointments etc but most can.
Get yourself organized, this is not the same as having a daily rigid routine, write down all your appointments, put on your family calendar important dates, make your transport arrangements, who will have the car that day, or check bus / train timetables, maps if need be, put together a baby travel bag with all the dry items you will need, spare nappies, clothing, toys, snack food etc, have it ready always, just replace what you use each time you come back home. This will take out any last minute stress around getting out. It also means that you are ready to head out for an impromptu trip to the park, shops, or to visit family.
Talk to your child about what is happening and where you are going, make sure they know what is going on, talking to them helps them feel included and safe. This is most especially important for when you are taking them to the nurse / doctor / dentist. It can be a very tense and tearful experience for a small child at the doctors, make sure you have told them about all that will happen, line up a treat for afterwards, let them know you will be there all the time and most importantly do not cry… crying mum will start your child crying and make them believe there is something to be frightened of.
Now I know that for some of you having a daily routine is what keeps you sane, just remember build in some flexibility so that your child can feel comfortable & safe wherever you are with them.